Sender: "Susan B. Hagloch" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: GWTW Condensed Version
Now all of you who confessed to not having read this can clear your
consciences. Credit to MAD magazine from sometime in the early 'sixties:
The READER'S DIGEST CONDENSED _GONE WITH THE WIND_
"'It Looks like war, Miss Scarlett,' said the Tarleton Twins.
'Fiddle-dee-dee!' said Scarlett O'Hara.
"'Thank God that bloody war is over,' said Rhett Butler. Will you marry
'Well, if it's going to come to this constant bickering, let's forget it.'
"'Ashley," said Scarlett, 'it's you I love!'
'But I'm married to Melanie,' he answered. Besides, we've got a war to win.
'Don't be silly. The Civil War ended right after 'Fiddle-dee-dee' and
"'So you married Frank Kennedy, eh Scarlett?' sneered Rhett.
'Yes, but he died!' Scarlett pouted.
'Time flies,' mused Rhett.
"'I need you, Rhett!'
'I'm sorry, Scarlett, our marriage isn't working out. Besides, we've got a
war to win.'
'Don't be silly. The Civil War ended right after 'Fiddle-dee-dee!' and
'What kind Civil War,' barked Rhett. 'We've been moving so fast it's time
for World War I already!"
--- The End --
p.s. My downfall is Jane Austen!
Susan B. Hagloch
Tuscarawas County Public Library
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"Life consists of adapting to incoherence." Antonio Bioy Cesares